During a recent session of our Bringing Up Great Kidsparenting program in Brisbane, a group of engaged parents in custody took part in a powerful activity that left everyone feeling motivated and empowered to be the best parents they can be for their children.
Participants were invited to reflect on their own parenting beliefs and practices.
“We talked about how important it is to reflect on parenting beliefs and practices to help decide which are healthy and helpful, and should be carried on for future generations, and which are unhealthy and unhelpful that parents did not want to repeat with their children,” said our team.
This led to many meaningful conversations, as participants shared their experiences both as children and as parents, and considered how these experiences have shaped them.
For many, it was the first time they had actively engaged in conversations like this, in a space where they felt supported and encouraged to open up.
“Participants reflected on the parenting practices they had seen and experienced growing up that had a positive effect on them, along with those that had a negative effect on them,” our team said.
“They also talked about how they didn’t want to repeat any practices that would cause harm to their children.”
Breaking cycles of harmful behaviour is a key outcome of the program, and reflection is an important first step toward learning new skills and developing healthier ways to parent.
To bring the discussion to life, participants were asked to write down their parenting beliefs and practices, then sort them into three categories: those they wanted to keep, those they wanted to adapt, and those they wanted to leave behind.
Each parent then placed their lists into a “keep” bag, a “recycle” bag, or the bin – a simple but powerful act of intention and change.
Our team was heartened to hear how empowering participants found the exercise and looks forward to supporting them as they continue their journey.
“It felt wonderful to walk alongside these parents as they reflected and made important decisions about the positive parenting beliefs and practices they want in their families, and as they took a stand not to pass on harmful beliefs and practices they had experienced growing up.
I imagined all of the children who will benefit from the decisions made in our class that day.”
Beliefs and practices participants chose to keep:
It’s okay to be themselves
Giving respect when it is returned
Consistency
Teaching, not punishing
Being open-minded
Guidance
Patience
Affection
A strong circle of friends
Respect for elders
Respect for culture
The house doesn’t have to be immaculate
Communication
Love
Beliefs and practices participants chose to leave behind:
Comparison
“The oldest should know better”
Smacking
Judgement
Having a favourite child
Making children feel not good enough
Dismissing their emotions
Forced contact (e.g. hugging/kissing relatives)
Separate mealtimes for children
Expecting children to eat everything on their plate
Fighting in front of the kids
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