Our stories

Mum in custody Nicki* is a mother of six children, ranging in age, with her eldest now 17.

Like many parents, she loves her children deeply and wants the very best for them. But as they have grown older, Nicki found herself facing new and unfamiliar territory: the teenage years.

Reflecting on her own teenage years, Nickie worried that her eldest child might also go off track. That worry grew so strong that it began to shape the way she communicated. She found herself nagging, often focusing on what she wanted to see change and what would help ease her fears. While her intentions came from love and concern, the result was the opposite of what she hoped for: it created distance between Nickie and her eldest child.

Learning to a new way to communicate

Through the Bringing Up Great Kids parenting program, Nickie began to see things differently.

She learned about adolescent brain development and how it can influence teenage behaviour, decision-making and identity development.

She also explored the importance of deep listening and the use of PACE — Playfulness, Acceptance, Curiosity and Empathy — as a way to connect and communicate with her adolescent child.

As Nickie began putting these ideas into practice, something shifted.

Instead of leading with worry, she started listening more deeply. She became curious about her teenager’s thoughts, goals and hopes for the future. In doing so, Nickie came to understand that her child’s life path would be different from her own, and that this was not something to fear.

With time, Nickie began to notice the strengths, ambitions and achievements of her teenage daughter, things she had not previously been able to fully appreciate because her worry had been so overwhelming.

Hopeful about the future

By the end of the course, Nickie was no longer speaking from fear. Instead, she was excited to share her daughter’s goals and achievements, and proud of the young person her daughter was becoming.

When Nickie completed Bringing Up Great Kids, she reflected that she felt more confident as a parent, more aware of the valuable role she plays in her family, and more able to make progress towards her own goals.

Her growth was an incredible outcome, shaped by her strong engagement in the course and her willingness to try new ways of communicating with her children outside of the group.

At the end of the course, Nickie shared that one of the most important things she was taking away was the reminder that she is a mother – and that she is as important to her children as they are to her.

Although she sometimes questions herself, Nickie was able to recognise all the things she is, and all the things she does, for her children.

*Names and images changed to protect the privacy of program participants.