It’s been a difficult year for Ebony*, in year 2 at a Central Coast primary school. Her mother has been in and out of custody several times, and she’s struggled with a disrupted home life and managing ‘big emotions’ in the classroom.
Despite these challenges, Ebony’s Rise mentor, Lisa*, is pleased with her progress and believes the future is looking brighter for not only Ebony but her entire family.
It took several mentoring sessions for Ebony, a very shy child, to come out of her shell and feel comfortable talking with Lisa.
Lisa was patient and understood that for children who have experienced lots of disruption at home, having an adult consistently ‘turn up’ for them and be in the same place at the same time every week can go a long way in forming trust.
Ebony was referred to the SHINE for Kids Rise program by her school when they recognised the impact her family situation was having on her ability to engage with her education and peers.
Emotional outbursts and behavioural issues meant she was being taken outside of the classroom more frequently to help her regulate her emotions.
A key part of the Rise program is ensuring that children are equipped with the tools they need to understand and manage their emotions so that they can concentrate on learning. As Ebony warmed to Lisa, they were able to start working through activities exploring ‘big emotions’ more successfully.
“In the last two sessions, Ebony spoke about her visits to her mother’s house, how much she looks forward to them, and how special they are,” said Lisa.
Lisa has been really happy to see that Ebony is starting to understand how her behaviour negatively affects not only her own life but also that of her family. Ebony told Lisa that she can’t control outbursts and that “they just happen.” This self-awareness is a big step for Ebony, and Lisa is proud of her for it.
Their sessions have also been an opportunity for Ebony to talk about her family in a safe space.
Lisa was happy to hear that Ebony’s father and stepmother, under whose care she and her little sister are currently in, have been supporting her to reconnect with her mother after her recent release from custody.
It’s clear that her mother is incredibly important to her, and their improving relationship will support her well-being at home and at school.
“In the last two sessions, Ebony spoke about her visits to her mother’s house, how much she looks forward to them, and how special they are,” said Lisa.
“Despite hearing negative things about her mother, she still hopes that she’ll be able to spend more time with her as she gets older.”
This shows how important parents are to most children and how strong the child/parent bond is.
The family’s situation is complicated and there are times that Ebony is disappointed that she isn’t able to see her mother more. Lisa is there for her during these times and can talk her through it.
SHINE for Kids has also been able to support Ebony’s stepmother in supplying the necessities for her to attend school, including a new uniform, sports shoes, lunch box, and water bottle. Ebony’s been wearing her new uniform with pride!
A highlight for the family was recently attending a special big day out and show organised by SHINE for Kids.
The whole family got involved, and although they face many challenges, Lisa says it’s wonderful to see everyone in the family, the community, and the school coming together to do their best for Ebony.
She’s on a waitlist for specialist support, and it’s not an easy road, with long waiting times and many appointments ahead, but Lisa is sure that with Ebony’s increasing motivation, improving relationship with her mother and the tremendous effort her stepmother is going to to ensure she has access to as much support as is available, the coming year will be a happier one.
*Names and images changed to protect program participants.
Thank you to The Benevolent Society for supporting this Rise program.
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