Flora* is 11 years old and attends primary school on the NSW Central Coast. Kind, intelligent, and creative, she’s an asset to her school and would like to become a captain in year 6. However, despite such promise, she’s had a very difficult time, in part because of the stigma she’s experienced for having parents in custody.
Flora was referred to the Rise mentoring program from her school for support in building her confidence and self-esteem.
While going well academically, she struggled to make friends and was very quiet, rarely contributing in class. Her teachers would even give her special jobs to do during lunch and recess so that she would not feel alone.
During her mentoring sessions, one of the first things that became clear was that Flora was very thoughtful and kind towards others. While these are great traits, Flora’s inability to advocate for herself, as she didn’t want to get anyone in trouble, was becoming a problem.
Her mentor observed that her difficult relationship with her parents might have contributed to her “need for a lot of reassurance that she is valued and liked,” making it hard for her to speak up for herself against others.
When talking about unkind things that children had done, like taking her lunch, which happened almost every day, or name-calling, she always gave the other children the benefit of the doubt and never spoke badly of them in sessions.
Since starting with Rise, Flora has benefited from having a trusted adult outside of her family who she can talk to about things worrying her and happening at school. She also has someone to help build her confidence in advocating for herself.
When situations in the schoolyard required an adult’s intervention, Flora’s mentor supported her in talking to her teachers.
The positive effect of Flora starting to stand up for herself has been huge.
She’s even recently even taken part in a school campaign to raise awareness of bullying, creating videos with a friend that were watched school-wide. “Flora is truly gifted in front of the camera with a calm voice that got the message across that bullying should not be tolerated,” said her mentor.
The result of this growing confidence has been Flora has made new connections with other students and a small group of friends, and the incidents of lunch taking have stopped.
With both parents in custody, Flora considers herself very lucky to be in the care of her older sister.
With children of her own, the family is financially stressed; however, SHINE for Kids has been able to support the family in buying her new school shoes and a uniform (with the school logo, which has thrilled her!), so she’s felt more confident going into the classroom.
Flora is now at an age where she’s able to start to think about how she’d like her relationship with her parents to look and how often she’d like to visit, if at all.
Her mentor has supported her throughout this time, being a sounding board and someone to talk to about a difficult part of her life that many people don’t understand.
As she prepares for high school, her mentor believes that her biggest goal will be to continue to develop her confidence so that she becomes more assured of herself and less concerned with what others say.
“Flora could be the next school captain, she could sit for a gifted and talented high school. Her journey is only commencing!” says her mentor, brimming with pride at her marvellous mentee.
*Names and images are changed to protect participants
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